Monthly Archives: January 2008

Mister Splashy Pants has made it.


Back in the early 80s when I and a ragged army of canvassers were knocking on doors to tell people about nuclear weapons tests and acid rain, we were lucky if, among the average 60 homes we visited in a night, three had heard of Greenpeace.So it was a big thing when, in 1984, Steve Sawyer happened upon a clue in the New York Times crossword puzzle: Environmental pressure group. Ten letters.

It was one of those informal indicators that you have passed into the zeitgeist — in some sense, you had made it into the fog of public consciousness if you were big enough to be teased out of its grey matter by a clue.

Yesterday, my colleague Kirsten told me that she was half watching the Dutch Postcode Lottery television quiz last weekend when the contestant, for 30,000 Euros, was asked

When Greenpeace recently held a contest to name a humpback whale, the winner was.…

A) Mister Splashy Pants
B) Mister Big
C) Mister Darcy

Alas, despite Kristen yelling at the TV screen that it was “Mister Splashy Pants, you idiot,” the contestant flubbed it. He may have boned up on his countries and capitals before walking out on stage. He may have memorized the kings and queens of England. But not being a Reddit reader or internet stumbler cost the guy 30,000 smackers.

Now, what has all this got to do with the price of beans in Boston? I like to measure. I like to be able to take a fuzzy concept like “raising consciousness” and turn it into a data set you can evaluate and set targets against. So I propose a new informal advocacy Zeitgeist benchmark here, for measuring success in getting a concept out into the public domain:

Has the concept you are promoting appeared on a quiz show or in a crossword puzzle?

We can extend this to other Zeitgeist benchmarks:

Has your mother heard about it?
Has Letterman or Leno made a joke about it?
Has it been ridiculed on Slashdot?
Has it appeared in a fashion magazine?
Does it have a Facebook Group?
Does it have a copycat Facebook Group?
Has more than one person tried to make money on it on Cafepress?
Has it been on the Simpsons?
Has Reddit featured it as a logo?

If you make 2 out of 10, you´re a meme
If you make 5 out of 10, you´re a trend.
If you make 7 out of 10, you’re a phenomenon.
If you make 10 out of 10, you´re headed for Wired´s Tired list.

Mister Splashy is still waiting for his Simpsons episode and his Late Night joke, but other than that, he has made it.

–b

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Whales as Canon Fodder?


If you want to shoot a whale - use a CANON. …But only if Canon tells  the whalers to lose the harpoons

A corporation which paints itself as a defender of wildlife and one concerned about endangered species and the natural world ought to do more than express those values in images, advertisements, and sponsorships: they need to use their immense power to speak out and act for a better world.

Does Canon support shooting whales? | Greenpeace International

Alas, gentle readers, I have been otherwise occupied for overlong.  We just launched a new push against Canon cameras to speak out against whaling in Japan, and it has taken some long nights and intense days to get it out the door.

As with the Green my Apple campaign, and the Iceland Whales Pledge, this is a new kind of campaign for Greenpeace.  And while it may be surprising, Greenpeace like any institution, can find  new things scary.  I doubt this one would have gotten off the ground if it had gone through our monumentally conservative planning process.  Instead, it came about in one of those tremendous, serendipitous blasts of creativity that I so damn wish could learn to play nice with process, but never do.

It happened on a phone call with the Esperanza in the Southern Ocean. A discussion about public engagement.  We had been so impressed by the action of one of our supporters in New Zealand, who had taken it upon herself to write to Toyota to say she wasn´t replacing her Prius, because it was Japanese. 

Now we don´t support boycotts on Japanese products, but we get this stuff from supporters all the time, who just run their own rogue actions.  Well this one hit paydirt.  Not only did she get a statement from Toyota New Zealand stating that the company didn´t support whaling for commercial or scientific purposes, she brought it to the newspapers.  Toyota Japan immediately got all heavy on their Kiwi partners.

So there we are, saying what can we learn from this, how can we replicate this?  How can we generate pressure in Japan from the business community to address whaling as a bottom line laibility that contributes nothing to Japanese society, and which in fact costs taxpayers billions of yen every year to fund science which nobody wants and whalemeat which nobody eats.  In short, how do we cause a fracas for a Japanese corporation with the power to do something about whaling.

We liked the Toyota example, but rejected cars.  Our climate campaign is going after cars for other reasons.  So we scratch our heads for a while via satellite, and Dave Walsh, rocking on the Antarctic waters, glances at the camera on his desk.  What about Canon?

Oh yeah. All that Wildlife As Canon Sees it stuff. Whales selling cameras.

Well it just so happens that Junichi in Japan is on the call, and knows that the CEO of Canon is only the single most powerful CEO in the entire country at the moment and the chair of the Japanese Business Federation.  He has the ear of the Prime Minister, and a responsibility to look after all Japanese  business interests.

Konichiwa, Canon!

So we wrote to them, and simply asked that they speak out against shooting endangered species with a harpoon, when a camera and other harmless methods can generate all the research you need to know.

Yet despite being one of the best know “Wildlife Brands,”  despite being the oldest corporate sponsor of World Wide Fund for Nature in Europe, despite all those ads in National Geographic talking about endangered species, they wouldn´t sign a simple statement condemning the sham of scientific whaling by the Japanese Fisheries Agency.

Not good enough. 

I love the prospects that this campaign opens up for corporate campaigning.   You´ve noticed, of course, how many corporations these days are dressing themselves in Green.  We´ve noticed at Greenpeace, that´s for sure.  There´s an awful lot of multinational corporations who are trying to look like us, sound like us, express their concern for the environment in glossy ads in which the only thing missing is our logo.

Well what if we hold them to that?  Take it at face value.  Challenge them to actually DO what we DO rather than just put our colours on their websites and our pictures in their annual report?  And that means not only do they need to clean up their own practices, like any good corporate citizen, but they need to  become active about the practices of others. They need to speak out against things that are inconsistent with those values which they are advertising themselves as having.  In short, they need to take action to make those nice green sound bites come true.

McDonalds shocked us when they became forest activists in response to one of our campaigns against Amazon deforestation.  They didn´t just back away from a soy supplier who was cutting down rainforest to plant soy, they sat down at the table with the producer, other buyers, and ourselves to try to work out a way to end the practice altogether.  They wield vast power, of course, and that kind of initiative is hard to ignore.  One smart campaign judo move had put a sumo wrestler on our team.

Corporations being goaded into advocacy is an exciting prospect.  Canon has no direct relationship to whaling, but there’s a public expectation, that they’ve built themselves, that they would take a stand against killing endangered species.   And by doing so, they could have an immense impact.  In the same way Greenpeace challenges individuals to take action for a green and peaceful future, we’re challenging a corporate citizen to do the same. 

So come on, Mitarai-san, — get on the  right side of this one quickly, and Save those whales.

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My application to work for Steve Jobs…

When Greenpeace protesters convened outside last year’s Macworld Expo, Apple CEO Steve Jobs dismissed the environmentalists by suggesting they “get out of the computer business [and] go save some whales.“
[…]
And while the back-and-forth between Apple and Greenpeace is ostensibly about responsible environmental policies, it’s also important to remember that it’s also a battle between two very sophisticated PR teams.

Wired: Apple’s ‘Green’ Notebook Doesn’t Impress Environmentalists

Here’s the letter to the editor I just wrote to Wired…

We’re flattered you put Greenpeace’s “sophisticated PR Team” on par with Apple’s, given that we’re considerably fewer and stupendously less well paid.In fact, we may have been a bit too sophisticated, in that your opening line misquotes Steve Jobs with a line that came from us:

When Greenpeace protesters convened outside last year’s Macworld Expo, Apple CEO Steve Jobs dismissed the environmentalists by suggesting they ‘get out of the computer business [and] go save some whales.’”

Jobs didn’t say that — we did, in a spoof video in which we voiced over Steve making the Keynote speech we wanted to hear.

We then saw that quote reported and repeated as a genuine Jobs utterance, as I blogged here a year ago.

And sophisticated though we may be, we seem to have failed to get across the message of how pleased we have been to see Apple heading in the right direction. The mere fact that he brought the environment into his keynote, and that he’s concerned enough about recyclability and toxic ingredients to highlight these aspects in product spec pages, and more importantly actually moving in the direction of becoming a leader in green innovation were all applauded in our reaction.

But hey, we’re Greenpeace. Our job is to be provocative. So while we applaud Apple’s intentions, we’re still waiting to see Steve do what we and Apple loyalists around the world know he can do, which is to lead the entire electronics industry toward a new standard of environmental excellence.

Now this is an object lesson in how unreliable some internet journalism can be when it feeds on itself. Wired now joins a small, select list of folks including MacOpinion and Mona Lisa Hard Drive who attributed to the real Steve something I said in a parody piece. On the internet, apparently, nobody knows you’re not Steve Jobs. Hmm, which gives me an idea:

Dear Steve,

Well, here it is, my application to work for you as a speech writer. Yes, I’m sure your eyebrows are shooting up given my previous experience as a communications manager for Greenpeace, but I’m fed up with being underpaid, overworked, and having to read the fine print on tuna cans.

Besides, I already have experience. I actually penned a line that you’ve used! According to Wired, you said “Greenpeace should get out of the computer business [and] go save some whales…” Hey! I wrote that line for you, and put it in a spoof video that has gotten more than 135,000 hits on YouTube. I’m really glad you liked it enough to use it in real life. Clearly, I should be writing more stuff for your keynotes.

My salary requirements are extortionist, I’m afraid, but I know you’re good for it. And I’ve seen how much money former Greenpeacers like Patrick Moore can make by churning out utter rubbish about how [YOUR COMPANY NAME HERE] is green and shiny and good for the planet and something he was utterly wrong about when he founded Greenpeace and invented world peace.

So I reckon you can give me a gig like that, and pay me large sums of money to come up with clever ways to trash my former employer. If you agree, just send the limo and I’ll be tickled green to join your sophisticated PR department.

Looking forward to working with you,

Brian

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Breaking News: Greenpeace win battle against Japanese fleet

I watched this story from Environmental Graffiti jump in 7 hours up to around 100 diggs, then nearly double to 196 within 4 minutes as it landed on the front page. I posted it to all my Greenpeace groups on Facebook. (In the time it took me to post this, it jumped another 50).

Now, of all the stories on all the sites in all the world about the expedition that have gone out in the last four days, why did THIS ONE end up rocketing up the Digg ranks? If I knew the answer to that question, you’d see a lot more Greenpeace news on Digg!!!

read more | digg story

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Greenpeace webcams: You too can spot the whalers!

Late last night, the word went out that we had found the fleet. On board the Espy, the Bridge bristled with binoculars as the crew sought to catch a glimpse through the fog and snow. And judging from the webstats, an awful lot of us Virtual Crewmembers and Cyber Salty Dogs went barrelling toward our own version of the bridge — the live Esperanza Webcam, where a tiny smudge on the horizon said that once again, against all odds, we had found the Japanese whaling fleet in the vast expanse of the Southern Ocean.

ship.jpg

For me, sitting warm and dry in my home in Amsterdam, I was able to experience some of the vicarious excitement of the hunt. I loaded up the webcam page. There. Up on the horizon off the starboard bow. There was our quarry, the Nisshin Maru.

Konichiwa, boys.

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China bans free plastic bags

From 1 June, China will ban the production of ultra-thin plastic bags and shops will be forbidden from handing out free plastic bags, the State Council said this week.Once, standing on an ancient bridge crossing a crystal-clear stream in a valley where there were no roads and no electricity, a white plastic shopping bag came floating down to where I stood. It was one of the most disturbing scenes I’ve witnessed in more than four years in China. Environmental horror notwithstanding, the ban is being introduced for soundly pragmatic reasons.The environment is a factor, but the huge amount of petrol needed to make plastic bags is a more pertinent reason for the ban. With crude oil prices at or around $100 a barrel, the cheap plastic bag is rapidly becoming an expensive commodity.

China’s billions of shoppers face ban on plastic bags — Independent Online Edition > Asia
Onya Bag Olive Green and Light Khaki
Woo hoo! What a great move. Plastic bags shouldn’t be free, because they aren’t. I’ve been working for ages on banning them from my life, with mixed success. I usually travel with a small backpack, or my ancient cotton “No Time To Waste” Greenpeace shopping bag that is popping a seam or two by now, but I still get caught out occasionally with no bag and take or buy a plastic one.

Which is why I like this concept: the ONYA bag (because it’s always On Ya) — recycled parachute material turned into a bag which packs into it’s own keychain-sized pouch. Handy!

Of course, banning free plastic bags is good. Banning them entirely would be better.

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Zombies, retroviruses, and threats to the human species

I recently saw “I am Legend,” a cracking good zombie story, at the Imax theatre in Amsterdam. This was a truly scary experience. On a “good scary” level, the Imax experience was literally breathtaking. It’s the way movies ought to be viewed. I mean, if a film shows you a perspective in which you’re leaning over the roof of an 80 story building, you really ought to be dizzy. If a zombie lands on the floor behind you, you should hear the thump behind your head. And it should make you jump out of your skin. If you are helicoptering over the empty and overgrown canyons of New York (in a shot funded by the “Made in New York Incentive Program”) you really ought to be gasping at the detail and feeling your seat shake with the noise of the chopper engines.

The “scary bad” part came in two pieces. One was a promising plot being reduced in the end to a feel-good parable with a moral of “yeah, we humans sure can bugger things up, but trust in military men and God and we’ll all pull through.”

OK, that’s not scary, that’s just sad. The scary bit had to do with a reading coincidence about retroviruses. I’m not giving anything away here that you don’t learn in the first five minutes of the film, but “I am Legend” hinges on the discovery of a cancer cure in the form of an engineered virus, which then mutates into something that turns humans into hairless rabid light-averse cannibals.

Clearly, I go to films like this because I’m just not scared enough by real-world threats like climate change, unstable nuclear weapons states, and religious fanaticism.

Well, lucky for me there’s a whole bevy of new, real-world things to worry about every time I pick up an article by Michael Specter, who wrote so cheerily some time ago about the number of unsecured labs in Russia and the US which hold samples of the “eradicated” smallpox virus, and what it would do if it got out.

Well, that was just the little spooky noise that makes you wary. Check this out:

It takes less than two per cent of our genome to create all the proteins necessary for us to live. Eight per cent, however, is composed of broken and disabled retroviruses, which, millions of years ago, managed to embed themselves in the DNA of our ancestors. They are called endogenous retroviruses, because once they infect the DNA of a species they become part of that species.

One by one, though, after molecular battles that raged for thousands of generations, they have been defeated by evolution. Like dinosaur bones, these viral fragments are fossils. Instead of having been buried in sand, they reside within each of us, carrying a record that goes back millions of years.

Because they no longer seem to serve a purpose or cause harm, these remnants have often been referred to as “junk DNA.” Many still manage to generate proteins, but scientists have never found one that functions properly in humans or that could make us sick.

Then, last year, Thierry Heidmann brought one back to life. Combining the tools of genomics, virology, and evolutionary biology, he and his colleagues took a virus that had been extinct for hundreds of thousands of years, figured out how the broken parts were originally aligned, and then pieced them together.

After resurrecting the virus, the team placed it in human cells and found that their creation did indeed insert itself into the DNA of those cells. They also mixed the virus with cells taken from hamsters and cats. It quickly infected them all, offering the first evidence that the broken parts could once again be made infectious. The experiment could provide vital clues about how viruses like H.I.V. work. Inevitably, though, it also conjures images of Frankenstein’s monster and Jurassic Park.

Annals of Science: Darwin’s Surprise: Reporting & Essays: The New Yorker
Heh, heh. Now please, people — there is no cause for panic. These viruses are being created by scientists and designed to replicate only once. There is absolutely no danger to the public health. Every lab is subject to the attentive supervision by your government — the same folks that oversee the safety of our nuclear power plants, ensure genetically engineered crops are never released in the wild without thorough testing, and make sure nuclear weapons are safe and secure.

Nothing to see here, move along…

Shhhh.… What was that noise?

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Nifty Google Chart-creation API

Google’s chart API. Found this because Eoin Twittered that he was browsing it. The chart below is generated by the following URL:

http://chart.apis.google.com/chart?cht=p3&chd=s:DDD9&chs=500x200&chl=Peace|Love|Understanding|Other

In which cht=p3 means a 3D Pie Chart
chd=s:DDD9 indicates a value set of 4,4,4,61 (A..Z=0..25 a..z=26..51 and 0..9=52..61)
chs=Chart Size in width in pixels by height
chl=Chart Labels separated by pipe character

Beats loading up Excel, creating a chart, saving it to a jpg, and loading it onto a website to do something this simple.

chart (PNG Image, 500x200 pixels)

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Radically goofy: Mister Splash Pants and the Geography of Hope

Well whaddya know. Calgary Journalist Chris Turner has written an outstanding article about the phenomena of Mister Splashy Pants for the Globe and Mail. I say “outstanding” not just because I’m button-popping proud to see this blog sited as a news source — he’s latched onto and articulated some really good stuff about how digital social networks are changing activism, and how all of us hoeing our rows in the fields of social change need to change the tone and voice with which we speak to those networks.

And there was one name that just barely made the final cut. As Greenpeace International official Brian Fitzgerald later explained on his blog, Mr. Splashy Pants was nearly lost to "the self-censorship instinct." Mr. Fitzgerald and his colleagues thought it was funny, he wrote, but they also worried it was "undignified."

Still, Mr. Fitzgerald and his colleagues decided to “push back” against internal censorship, to share with their audience “what amuses and inspires those of us within the walls and below the decks.” In other words, to rethink the marketing of social causes. And in fact, this might be Mr. Splashy Pants’s most significant message: If you presume to speak to the masses about society’s ills and how to correct them, do it in their language — and admit it’s also yours. Be their conscience, sure, but address them as friends would.

Marketing consultants often talk about the importance of “stickiness” — a concept codified in Malcolm Gladwell’s mammoth bestseller The Tipping Point that refers to the almost mystical ability of certain kinds of information to cut through the thick undergrowth of the digital age and adhere to everything they touch.Mr. Splashy Pants was, in this regard, like digital Krazy Glue.

Now this is not the first Mister Turner has mentioned Mister Splashy. He penned an encouragement to vote for MSP, “Or El Splasherino if you aren’t into the whole brevity thing…” at his blog, the Geography of Hope as a blow against “hectoring humourlessness.” And he knows whereof he speaks. He brings to the piece a unique perspective as a former Greenpeace canvasser who burned out and retreated.

I left the job at the end of the summer utterly exhausted at the prospect of saving whales or old-growth forests or the life-sustaining ozone layer — at least if their salvation required me to spend another day trafficking door to door in fear, guilt and despair.The work was not without its giddy interludes. In the evenings, campaigners drove back to the student house serving as Greenpeace’s Kingston office and ate and ranted together, drank beer and passed joints, kicked hacky sacks and sang songs, giggled our asses off and howled at the moon.

The exuberance of those nights, though, was no match for the earnest pleading of the late afternoons and early evenings, the grim reiterations of ecological horror and impending doom on doorstep after doorstep. If we were in the business of saving the planet, I wondered, why couldn’t it be a joyous business?

I let my Greenpeace membership lapse the following summer and, for many years after, I saw nothing in my occasional encounters with the organization to win me back to its fold. Instead, I saw the same damning messages strung from bridges, the same trafficking in symbols of toxicity and ruin. The same unceasing joylessness.

Which is why the sudden appearance of Mr. Splashy Pants — a phrase so silly it could have emerged from one of our late-night bull sessions — was so captivating. It made its case in a chortling instant: Greenpeace had somehow found its funny bone and used it to hatch possibly the most infectious viral marketing campaign in the history of environmental activism.

And there it is — that stark contrast between the Greenpeace that insiders know and the Greenpeace which shows its face to the public — a schism we in the web team have been chipping away at for some time now with blogs and crew profiles, a less formal voice in our web content, and positive campaigns like Green my Apple. For an organization which is so full of life and humor and heroism and fine barroom story fodder, how can we be perceived as dark grumpy grinches?

This is one of the things that our Comms Director, Francesca Polini, identified as an essential challenge in communicating the Greenpeace identity — rising out of the trap of negativism, of nay saying, of solutionless doom-mongering: one of the most consistent negative impressions of the organisation she found in opinion polling on three continents.

In my favourite bit of anecdotal response to one of the focus groups, one participant declared that if Greenpeace were a person at a party, they’d be talking incessantly and nobody else would get a word in edgewise. Ewwwww. I hate those people.

So hats off to Mister Turner for buying a t-shirt and being the only journalist who has really seen into the soul of the Mister Splashy Pants story, and the important lessons it holds for Greenpeace and the environmental movement in general. I especially liked this:

But Splashy is more than just an online punchline. The environmental movement has asked us for decades now to protect “the divine spirit of the ocean,” and still the peril remained imminent for all those humpback whales. We were moved, instead, to save Mr. Splashy Pants.Just 10 days after Greenpeace officially christened Splashy, the Japanese government declared a moratorium on their humpback whale hunt for this season. The official explanation didn’t mention it, but just maybe the whalers realized there would be consequences for the cold-blooded murder of an animal whose name might as well be a synonym for fun.

globeandmail.com: Radically goofy

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CSS hack: creating a link to a background image

I was about to lecture a friend about the website etiquette standard of making your top banner link to your homepage, when I realised my own WordPress blog didn’t follow this all-important rule.

When I set out to rectify this, I realised that my theme sets the top banner in CSS as a background image.

Now I could have just removed the CSS class and stuck an “img src” tag in the html, surrounded by an <a href> tag, of course. But I want to call that png as a CSS background image AND link it in the original stylesheet so I don’t need to hack my theme.

My CSS skills are patchy at best. I scratched my head, tried a few really dumb things, then scoured the internet for a way to do this. Thought it would be an obvious thing with its own chapter over at the excellent W3Schools CSS reference site. But no. I had to piece a solution together from several incomplete answers. Here’s what I did. Continue reading

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Miss America?

Thanks, Reddit

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